Or Reasons #1 & 2 Why Film Cameras are Still Relevant in the Digital Age
#1: You can use them as hammers.
Forgot your hammer while in the midst of shooting? No problem if you have a film camera. Just pull it out and start banging away. Sure it may leave a little dent or two, but it gets the job done, dang it. Can you do this with a little digital camera? Ha. I laugh openly at the wimpy little camera wannabes.
Ok, so we live in a world being transformed via a dizzying digital maze. It reminds me about what happens with natural selection and the theory of evolution, only with us, it's happening so fast that we don't have time to keep up with it all, let alone reflect about what's going on with it. With natural selection, film cameras are evolving out of existence. Can you use your digital camera as a hammer? Ha. Dream on.
#2: They make a killer Zombie flail.
Well, digital camera smarty pants, what happens when the Zombies attack? Pull out your little digital camera and start popping your little wink flash at them? Ask them politely to unhand you? I'll be looking out for all the Zombies with little digital cameras still in their pockets. Then let 'em have it between the eyes with my flail film camera. The cool part is that the handle doubles as a monopod for those tricky low-light scenes.
A crow bar for Zombie attacks? Not likely. Give me the film camera flail any day.
Tonight is a full blue moon, and I'll be standing by with my film camera ready for nearly anything. Don't say I didn't warn you, because the tough survivors will be the ones with film cameras, dudes.